Leaking Farts

I knew this would get your attention.

Well, if this place is the repository of all arcane running knowledge and lore, then puzzle me this, o' Swami's:

When you're speed training or racing at a decent clip, you sometimes get these farts that just refuse to 'take the elevator'. As your muscular asscheeks grind away the yardage, you inevitably lose some control and expel an air biscuit or two. No big deal, right? Right.

The problem comes when more than just a fart is demanding egress. Hmmm. Didn't I take care of this before I hit the track? I guess not. Damn.

Well, I'm not THAT old yet. I can control my bowels. But it still adds a lot of stress and hurts my ability to hit full speeds when I'm doing ladders or intervals. I'm sure everyone here has had that funny 'uh-oh' feeling after leaking a few farts, then wondering whether or not you have squirt-soiled your fancy new running shorts.

I have yet to make a boom-boom on the run, but it's obviously possible. So, throw your silly hubris aside and tell us what you do when you feel the 'attempted escape'. Do you slow down? Do you re-focus? Or do you dive behind a bush, drop trou and settle the matter once and for all?

Inquiring new-to-real-training runners want to know!

- TR

TR, If it's during training hit the bushes, but if it's during a race just pull your shorts aside and let it fly, solids make a really cool 'SPLAT' sound when they hit the pavement behind you, and if your lucky the little ethiopian guy whose gaining on you by the minute might trip in it. :?)~ Bill R.

Hi troll.

As an amateur, I'd slow down and head for the nearest toilet stop. If I was a serious professional and with a strong chance of winning the marathon (especially an important one), I'd probably just let rip in my shorts. I believe this has actually happened to an elite runner or two.

DK

Oh no Alex, CT is not a troll. What he IS is much more interesting........ Care to expand on your philosophy, CT?

This would explain your mental condition (full of shit) and why your so anally retentive. Bill R.

I had just gotten into running when I was doing an around the block a coupla times (2 miles or so total). The fart really wanted escape, so I let it rip. It was hot and I was dripping sweat, so nothing felt any different.

Got home, got in the tub with my 1 1/2 yr old son. Saw brown stuff floating- little pieces everwhere like shredded beef or something. Called the wife, told her Trent had crapped in the tub. She got him out, then looked at my running shorts and noticed the brown in there. Long story short- I no longer let 'em rip on runs. Or the bike. Or while swimming. Hell, I'm just scared to walk these days!

: : : I knew this would get your attention. : : Well, if this place is the repository of all arcane running : knowledge and lore, then puzzle me this, o' Swami's: : : When you're speed training or racing at a decent clip, you : sometimes get these farts that just refuse to 'take the elevator'. As : your muscular asscheeks grind away the yardage, you inevitably lose : some control and expel an air biscuit or two. No big deal, right? : Right. : : The problem comes when more than just a fart is demanding : egress. Hmmm. Didn't I take care of this before I hit the track? I : guess not. Damn. : : Well, I'm not THAT old yet. I can control my bowels. But it : still adds a lot of stress and hurts my ability to hit full speeds : when I'm doing ladders or intervals. I'm sure everyone here has had : that funny 'uh-oh' feeling after leaking a few farts, then wondering : whether or not you have squirt-soiled your fancy new running shorts. : : I have yet to make a boom-boom on the run, but it's obviously : possible. So, throw your silly hubris aside and tell us what you do : when you feel the 'attempted escape'. Do you slow down? Do you : re-focus? Or do you dive behind a bush, drop trou and settle the : matter once and for all? : : Inquiring new-to-real-training runners want to know! : : - TR : : : : :

I haven't yet decided whether I'm doing that. I'm inclined to take Ozzie's advice and do bu*ger all on Sunday. It's a bit of a way out of town, isn't it?

ROTFLMAO! sorry, but even Adam Sandler movies get to me (sometimes). but i realize that i shouldn't say a single word on the subject. we should all just deal with it in our own way.

Cam

Anyone who thinks I'm trolling can Google me.

As for the subject in question: I brought it up because my running class (headed by the vivacious Diane Palmerson, who briefly held the fastest mile for a woman over 60) was running ladders and pyramids yesterday on a dirt track. I was running really well; I felt strong and my speed was pretty good. I was able to beat down the inevitable side stitch and I figured I could beat the tall, skinny, fast guy who regularly defeats everyone else in speed and endurance.

On the final few 600 meter runs, I started leaking farts. They were popping out almost involuntarily, borne on the efforts of my straining body as I hit Top Ted Speed. As I slowed down for a 400 meter rest, I realized that the last few parts were a bit wet and that my tummy was more than a wee bit grumbly. It probably wouldn't take much for the Unthinkable to happen.

On the last 600 meters, yet more wet farts leaked out my ass, but I had enough focus to keep anything else from escaping. The slow mile back to the park was just fine, and when I got home I defecated like a Big Boy, just like Mommy taught me.

But the worries remained: what if I'm doing a 10K or longer race, and the leaking farts come back? How can I remain competitive if I'm slowing down to avoid dropping a load in my pants?

So far, I've seen some good responses here, especially those describing marathoners who just let it fly and dealt with the mess later. That's, like, cool and stuff. Hardcore.

- TR - off to work, with dry pants.

Two tablets of diocalm before the race.